Angel Care Cancer Caregivers Retreat

Now that's a lazy lhasa!

When I switched oncologists 3 treatments ago there was a flyer in the waiting room advertising a Angel Care Retreat for Cancer Caregivers sponsored by Angel On My Shoulder. We brought the flyer home intending to sign up if it was worked around my chemo schedule. While the retreat was for Dennis, he could bring a guest. Well during my hospitalization and other lovely goings on we kind of forgot about and heaven only knows where the flyer went that we brought home.

At my last treatment the flyers were still there, so we picked up another even thought the registration deadline had passed. We haven’t been a part of any support groups or anything and I thought this was a great opportunity. Dennis agreed and I hoped he wouldn’t regret it. I was actually surprised that he agreed so easily that it seemed like a good idea but. . . .I feared he was only saying what he thought I wanted to hear. When we emailed we found they could still accommodate us so we signed up.

We checked into the hotel Thursday evening and the meeting began Friday at 8:30a.m and lasted until 5pm. Dennis, as caregiver, went to the meeting and I sat in our room and sewed. At 6pm the guests were allowed to join the group for dinner and we were on our own after 7pm.

I was concerned that Dennis would have a horrible time, I feared he’d be the only guy there amongst mushy weepy women. He’s not exactly the type to open up and I wondered how he’d do amongst these strangers. I spent most of Thursday worrying about how he was going to do and if he’d find any benefit. I really wanted him to maybe learn how important it is for him to take care of himself.

Well when we met up that evening my fears were squashed (yippee). He seemed animated - good sign it wasn’t a bad day :) and he shared a few stories that he said made many of them think they didn’t have it that bad. Each person shared their story that day which was probably good therapy in itself.

Although our dinner time was only scheduled for an hour we spent a good three hours sitting at the table talking and everyone was really nice and friendly. Very good evening.

After returning to our room I had to go get some ice, gotta have ice. :) And while walking down the hall, in the dark except the side lighting, on the third floor, alone, I had the strangest feeling of being in the movie The Shining. Made me chuckle, so when I returned to my room I had to grab the camera and snap a photo to share. redrum, redrum - oops don't wanna make you have nightmares.

This morning Dennis went back to last part of the meetings and I stayed in our room a while, then packed up and sat in the lobby. Another lady, also someone’s guest, was hanging out too and we decided to have some lunch while we waited. I really enjoyed the face to face conversation and company and I shared with her a few feelings I haven’t shared with anyone else. She said she had those same feelings sometimes and it made me feel better to know I wasn’t alone in these weird strange thoughts. I wonder how many of us cancer people have these secret thoughts we never share and feel guilty for feeling in the first place. One thing we definitely agreed on is that the cancer is harder on our loved ones than it is on us. She absolutely sounded proud of her daughter, her caregiver, who moved in with her at her diagnosis and has helped her through. Her daughter will be getting her own place this month but I bet she’ll still spend a lot of time with mom.

I feel the need to mention the one negative thing that happened this retreat and ask for prayers for the lady involved. I never really spoke to her, she only attended the dinner for a short while and I don’t know her name. Her fiancé was her guest and he did not feel up to attending the dinner last night but this morning he passed away. I imagine this is going to be very hard on her and so hard for her to drive home alone after driving there with him and . . .well just keep her in your thoughts and prayers please.

Today's blooming Bromeliad

tags: care  shoulder  angel  bromeliad  lhasa  caregivers  on  my  cancer  retreat