feeling melancholy
This past weekend we decided it was time to go get our Christmas tree. As long as I can remember we have went to a tree farm and cut our own. I don’t always remember the camera, or I didn’t always, but here are a few shots from previous years.
Christmas 2002 (look how small my kids look - ok, I'm tearing up again)
Christmas 2004 - While all 5 kids had went with us the previous year only Haden wanted to brave the weather. He's holding JoZe (on the left and no longer with us) and Fibi on the right.
Last year - Britney (Tristan in her belly) and Nick getting their first tree together.
This year was quite different. Now, we only have Haden and Khris living with us. Mikal lives in Wausau with his girlfriend and they do their own thing. This Christmas Britney and Nick no longer live with us and Haden is still in Missouri with his grandparents. Khris wasn’t really into the whole getting a tree thing and opted to stay home and just help us carry it in. Britney and Nick are not allowed a “real” tree in their apartment so they bought an artificial one. They were going to bring the baby with us anyway but with the snow and cold temperatures they opted out.
This left Dennis and I alone to gather a tree. We decided to make the dogs go with us, they’re littler than us and have to do what we say. They love every opportunity to go “bye-bye” anyway.
We had the biggest trees ever the last two years, in fact one of those touched our ceiling and we had 14' ceiling where the tree sat. We made the decision to get a small tree, the smallest one we have ever gotten. Half of us, by that I mean ½ of Dennis and ½ of me, didn’t even want a tree. We’ve already given everyone, except the baby, their gifts and our kids are too old, the grandbaby too young to even really care so, we came ‘this close’ to not even getting one.
But we did get one. A petite little thing we were able to throw in the back of the Rav4 - that’s right we didn’t even need to tie it on top to get it home. Now it sits on top of our wine barrel and we didn’t need to move any furniture to accommodate it.
After a trip to the store we had lights and a few ornaments (who knows where our Christmas stuff is since we moved) and I sat looking at the tree feeling odd. I’m old. Older than I feel I’m supposed to be. Two Christmases ago I was recovering from surgery for colon cancer and starting chemotherapy. Thoughts of that and grown children have tainted Christmas. And then. . .
. . .he fixes everything.
Ahhh yes yes yes the cycle of life and the next step of little ones. I
have one child moved out on her own and a son who graduates in June and is
ready to move out on his own too. A year after him is my youngest daughter
so I'm not too far behind in the empty nest years. Feels sooooooo weird!!
The tree is precious though :)
We, too, have only 1 kid and grandkid coming this year. Our tree is a
little two footer that sits atop the table in the living room. I was
fighting the blues about this till I talked to my friend whose dog knocked
over the tree (my 3 dogs can't reach my tree) and whose two year old then
proceeded to "stomp" (he just learned) each and every ornament on the tree!
Ok I am fighting the urge to bawl here! "He fixes everything"....crying
over here!! HUgs!
I am pretty sure that we are at least the same age (I may be a bit older),
but I started late with having kids. I have three at home 5 - 12 years
old. It can be delightful, but I feel just as old as you described and
sometimes that is not a good combo.
What a BEAUTIFUL Post...I too have little tears in my eyes... The photos
are excellent as always...
--wiping tears from the corner of my eyes--- yes, they usually do, don't
they.
Ack - don't take me down this road. I get all teary right now.
My Mom only puts up her tree when we have Christmas at her house. (we
rotate) But my sister and I went up this past weekend and pulled all her
stuff down and forced her decorate. She's in a bit of a slump too but we
didn't let that stop us. She has always used a fake tree and last year
purchased a 2 footer.
Warms the heart, this post. Also, I'm madly in smit with your dogs.
Lisa! I love these family Christmas photos! How nice that you can look
back at these...memories are the best!! And the dogs are SOOOOOOOO
cute!!!! They are just adorable in their little coats!
This made me sad. Until the end. The tree is still beautiful even if it
is petite. Even though my husband and I will run ragged to several places
on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I should be thankful that we have the
family nearby to go to. Thanks for the reminder.